How to %help% %someone% with an eating disorder
We know that eating disorders impact everyone involved and that helping a loved one can be difficult. We’re here to help provide relief. At Monte Nido, we provide families with resources, support, and opportunities to be involved in treatment and beyond.
Recognizing signs of an eating disorder
Eating disorders are often steeped in shame and secrecy, making it difficult to detect when someone is struggling, but if your gut is saying something is off, listen; it could save their life.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to help pick up on physical, social, and emotional indicators that someone you care about might be struggling with an eating disorder:
Are they avoiding social gatherings, especially those involving food? Are they spending more time alone than usual?
When was the last time you saw them eat comfortably? Are they more private about their eating habits, exercise routines, or personal life? Have you noticed any extreme dieting, food restriction, or excessive eating?
Have you noticed more irritability, depression, anxiety, or any sudden shifts in their mood?
Do they lack interest in things they love, like hobbies, sports, or other activities they used to light up about?
Do they become defensive, overreact to, or deny well-meaning concerns about their body?
Have you noticed intense perfectionism and a drive to achieve unrealistic goals? Do they show signs of being highly self-critical? Do they seem obsessed with their body image or weight? Do they exercise excessively?
Do you feel like they shut down, struggle to communicate their feelings, or have trouble identifying and processing emotions?
Do you feel like your relationship with them is more difficult? Are there more conflicts than usual, or are they distancing themselves from their relationships with friends, family, or partners?
If you recognize the behaviors above, you can make a difference in your loved one’s life.
We’re here to help you start the conversation with empathy and open communication.
Supporting someone in treatment
We strongly encourage our clients to involve the important people in their lives in their treatment. When you begin treatment we will typically contact family or a loved one to schedule a support meeting within the first 48 hours. For adolescents and consenting adults, we involve parents and loved ones in education, therapy, and more, depending on their comprehensive treatment plan.
Throughout their treatment, here are some ways you can be an active participant in your loved one's recovery:
- Educate yourself about eating disorders through our resources
- Attend family therapy sessions
- Model healthy eating behaviors
- Communicate openly and non-judgmentally
- Provide emotional support and be consistent in reaching out
- Visit your loved one
- Celebrate small and large victories
Being part of long-term recovery
Even after treatment, we’ll continue to help you and those you care about. Before your loved one completes treatment at Monte Nido, we carefully set up discharge plans with like-minded providers who match your family's needs to ensure a plan is in place to support long-term recovery. We also have alumni support groups for former clients and those in their support system, like you.
You can continue your support during this time by:
- Implementing the tools you learned together through treatment
- Encouraging and engaging in ongoing therapy or support groups
- Maintaining open, non-judgmental communication
- Establishing healthy routines together that support long-term recovery
- Participating in family events and activities important to your loved one
- Focusing on their strengths and progress
- Prioritizing your own mental health
Explore virtual support groups for loved ones
See our growing list of resources
What our clients say about us
Frequently asked questions from families and loved ones
Here’s a script you could try: “I’m worried about saying the wrong thing, but I want you to know that I care about you. I want to help. I’ve noticed ______. Are you okay?”
Speak from your heart and tell them what you’ve observed and why it worries you. When they are ready for treatment, just know that having a strong social network can improve their ability to recover and stay in recovery. Don’t give up on them. You’re making a difference.
The most helpful thing you can do is ensure your loved one seeks professional help. Please reach out to us at Monte Nido or have your loved one reach out here.
Also, check out our blog post, Steps to Take When a Loved One Gets An Eating Disorder Diagnosis for some ideas on what you can do.
Eating disorders thrive in isolation. We integrate family programming into the treatment process to support our clients and those they love. The family program process may include individual and group therapy sessions, education about eating disorder signs and symptoms, treatment protocols, and support strategies.