Testimonies of strength

I'm sitting here in aww right now. My daughter came and gave me a hug and said, "Mom, I'm so proud of you!" For what, I asked? "For fighting and not giving up. It means the world to me, Mom. I love you!" Those words just melt my heart and make my fight each day easier and easier. My kids are my life, and I could not imagine my life without them. Recovery is amazing.

At Rainbow Road, from the moment I entered the treatment space, I could see, feel, and know that I belonged, I was valued, and that the people there were ready to help lift me up in ways that I needed.

That first time that you have to make that phone call is the hardest thing you’ll have to do. You have support, someone is always there, day or night, to talk to you, to hold your hand if you need it.

You treated me with dignity and respect, kindness and patience, and you showed me the way. I came here broken and tired and defeated and lost and unmotivated. I am leaving here healthier, stronger, stable, hopeful, and braver. I have a million different possible futures, and they're all mine to choose from. Now I get to leave a success story and not a statistic.

RECOVERY IS AMAZING!!! I am en route back to the USA from one of the most incredible experiences of my entire life. While I was here, I kept getting notifications of “on this day…” from Facebook. I was at Rosewood Ranch exactly 5 years ago, and it’s soooooo amazing to see how far I’ve come. Back then, spending a month in South Africa would’ve been something I never even dreamed I could do. I’ve been so far out of my comfort zone. I can’t believe it. Recovery can be hard sometimes, but there is no way I would ever have done this in my eating disorder back then. Recovery is a beautiful thing.

This program is a lifesaver! I’m SO happy I came here and have made so much progress.

I just wanted to acknowledge how much Rosewood changed my life. Almost 3 years ago (wow it’s been that long??!) I CRAWLED into Rosewood Ranch TERRIFIED of all things food, with the nastiest heroin/cocaine/alcohol/benzo addiction---skin and bones on death’s door. I was hopeless and passing out on a nightly basis hoping I wouldn't wake up the next morning. It hasn't been easy, but I can for the first time in YEARS say I am ED behavior FREE!!! My relationship with food is a 180-degree difference. Not only do I value my nutrition, I ENJOY it.

I came here with low self-esteem, distorted and irrational thoughts, loss of identity, and unhealthy beliefs. Through perseverance, support, confirmation, and accountability, I found myself; I learned transparency. I learned to live, laugh, and love me again. I am eternally grateful to everyone.

This picture was taken on Mother's Day 2013. At this point, I had lost the power of choice in starving myself, purging via laxatives, using Percocet, and drinking. Today, I am a different human being. Today, I am a person being and not a person doing. My relationships have been healed and restored with people I never thought possible on this side of heaven. I cleared away the wreckage of my past and continue to do so.

I can’t tell you how nice it is to have my daughter back. Recovery is possible, and we owe a big thanks to all of you.

From the first moment I walked through the door, I felt the compassion and genuine care of the staff for my recovery.

Without this place, God knows where I would've ended up. I don't think I can ever thank Rosewood for giving me the power to choose life.

My step-daughter is a different child than she was before she went to [Monte Nido] Walden. Since going through Walden’s ARFID IOP, she has a huge list of foods that she is able to eat and she is willing to try new things. She even had cake on her birthday for the first time!

There were a couple [of] turning points in my recovery. First, making the conscious decision every day that I didn’t want to live my life as I had been – unhappy, unfulfilled, unhappy…. In treatment, I began to create my identity outside of my eating disorder. I tested out how it felt to voice my thoughts, feelings, and desires. I spoke up without being spoken to first. I realized I had a sense of humor. Being stripped of my eating disorder was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, but it brought on some of the most fulfilling relationships into my life. My own voice is now louder than my eating disorder. I identify myself with so many things unrelated to my appearance and weight. And those are the things I’ll remember and cherish at the end of my life, not some number or pleasing my mental illness.

There's so much vulnerability in this space that I don't see in other spaces. I truly connect with all the clients and all the staff, something I wasn't expecting going into the program.

[Monte Nido] Rosewood was a life-changing opportunity for me. A soul-searching journey to find myself, to accept myself, and to love myself. Rosewood opened their doors to me and helped me to know that I could accept and love myself no matter who I am or who I love. I am beyond grateful and blessed for Rosewood and the hard work I did to be my TRUE SELF!!!!

I haven’t been this happy in such a long time, and I have never been this proud of myself. I have been able to challenge myself in ways I never thought I would ever be able to do. I am so grateful for my treatment team and the staff members who always believed in me.

Before [Monte Nido] Rosewood, I had lost myself in my professional identity as a nurse. As a nurse, I am compassionate, empathetic, precise, flexible, and an advocate for my patients. Somewhere in life, I felt that I was not worthy of caring for myself the way I care for my patients and abused my body with an eating disorder, drugs, and self-harm. My time at Rosewood allowed me to be a patient and realize that I too have needs that are just as important and valid as the patients I care for. Thanks to my time at Rosewood, I was able to get back on track with a solid recovery! I am just as worthy as the concern and love that I put into my patients every day.

This morning I did a fun running group. I tried it a few weeks ago and could tell my body was not ready. This morning exactly 3 months after leaving Rosewood my body proved to me that even after all I have put it through, it is amazing. I may have been last and no way near as fast as anyone else, but I'm so proud of my body and I appreciate it so much and I just want to let you all know how worth it recovery is, how happy I am, and how excited I am to be active again and I will not go overboard! Our bodies are incredible when we treat them with a little TLC.

I gained some amazing friends who I’ll value forever. And more importantly, I also regained my life.

I miss this place…it was security and strength all in one. The staff was fair. They understood. Even if you didn’t, they did. Take the lessons. Live your life. Forever grateful.

I really appreciated that everyone treated each other like family and showed me love no matter what.